End of 1st quarter grading gaffs

I'm working my way through final drafts of my freshmen short stories, Crucible comparisons from my AP kids, and about 18 things my sociology kids have turned in since September.  While student essays can sometimes be painful to grade, every so often I get some gems that make the time spent go a little faster, but they also teach me that sometimes I need to be more explicit in my directions.

For example, one of my AP options was to take the events of The Crucible (the Salem Witch Trials) and find similar themes in another era of world history - Japanese internment camps during WWII for example, or the HIV/AIDS epidemic from blood transfusions in the 1980s - involving concepts like jumping to conclusions without understanding the facts.  One girl asked about organization for her historical paper - should she divide up her topics, or combine them within paragraphs? I told her whatever made sense for her writing.  So I get a sentence like this:

If there was any suspicion for any reason, for example inattentiveness of church, paranormal activity or dancing someone would be accused of being a witch or in another circumstance having AIDS.

I know she didn't mean it, but apparently not paying attention in church can lead to acquired immune deficiency syndrome.  

I also found some special bits in my freshman short story assignment. They could write about anything, so long as they followed the plot outline we studied in class (exposition, complications, climax, resolution), had a conflict, and described their characters.  Some outlined true memories, some wrote Poe-inspired horror stories.  One victim of auto-correct apparently arrived at his cross country meet to discover the French bread hors d'oevres were already being served:

 This one from college essays in the spring is in my hall of fame - gotta love the bachelorette's degree Indiana University now offers:

I do have a file of random grading gaffs that I come across that are amusing; I see them on Tumblr and other social media sites all the time, but it's fun to find my own. Here's one from my first World History class:

I'll keep posting this year as more fun ones come up.  A local education student is interested in coming in to observe my classes this fall, so maybe she can help grade some of my essay load - always happy for help. Oddly, Hubster never volunteers for that duty...